Creative Resistance to Survival

'Thaw', by Fiona Robyn

2010-03-01T00:22:00.000-08:00

Fiona Robyn's new novel is called Thaw. Lucky for you, she has decided to blog the novel in its entirety over the next few months, so you can read it for free. Robyn's experiment is in keeping with a radical shift in publishing and writing that sees blogging, social and online media increasingly used by authors to redefine contemporary literature. Very Radiohead. And that's not just the tendancy to give work away over the internet: Thaw's diarist Ruth is giving herself 3 months to decide whether she commits suicide, or not.

Ruth's (the character - not me!) first entry is below, and you can continue reading tomorrow here.

These hands are ninety-three years old. They belong to Charlotte Marie Bradley Miller. She was so frail that her grand-daughter had to carry her onto the set to take this photo. It’s a close-up. Her emaciated arms emerge from the top corners of the photo and the background is black, maybe velvet, as if we’re being protected from seeing the strings. One wrist rests on the other, and her fingers hang loose, close together, a pair of folded wings. And you can see her insides.

The bones of her knuckles bulge out of the skin, which sags like plastic that has melted in the sun and is dripping off her, wrinkling and folding. Her veins look as though they’re stuck to the outside of her hands. They’re a colour that’s difficult to describe: blue, but also silver, green; her blood runs through them, close to the surface. The book says she died shortly after they took this picture. Did she even get to see it? Maybe it was the last beautiful thing she left in the world.

I’m trying to decide whether or not I want to carry on living. I’m giving myself three months of this journal to decide. You might think that sounds melodramatic, but I don’t think I’m alone in wondering whether it’s all worth it. I’ve seen the look in people’s eyes. Stiff suits travelling to work, morning after morning, on the cramped and humid tube. Tarted-up girls and gangs of boys reeking of aftershave, reeling on the pavements on a Friday night, trying to mop up the dreariness of their week with one desperate, fake-happy night. I’ve heard the weary grief in my dad’s voice.

So where do I start with all this? What do you want to know about me? I’m Ruth White, thirty-two years old, going on a hundred. I live alone with no boyfriend and no cat in a tiny flat in central London. In fact, I had a non-relationship with a man at work, Dan, for seven years. I’m sitting in my bedroom-cum-living room right now, looking up every so often at the thin rain slanting across a flat grey sky. I work in a city hospital lab as a microbiologist. My dad is an accountant and lives with his sensible second wife Julie, in a sensible second home. Mother finished dying when I was fourteen, three years after her first diagnosis. What else? What else is there?

Charlotte Marie Bradley Miller. I looked at her hands for twelve minutes. It was odd describing what I was seeing in words. Usually the picture just sits inside my head and I swish it around like tasting wine. I have huge books all over my flat; books you have to take in both hands to lift. I’ve had the photo habit for years. Mother bought me my first book, black and white landscapes by Ansel Adams. When she got really ill, I used to take it to bed with me and look at it for hours, concentrating on the huge trees, the still water, the never-ending skies. I suppose it helped me think about something other than what was happening. I learned to focus on one photo at a time rather than flicking from scene to scene in search of something to hold me. If I concentrate, then everything stands still. Although I use them to escape the world, I also think they bring me closer to it. I’ve still got that book. When I take it out, I handle the pages as though they might flake into dust.

Mother used to write a journal. When I was small, I sat by her bed in the early mornings on a hard chair and looked at her face as her pen spat out sentences in short bursts. I imagined what she might have been writing about; princesses dressed in star-patterned silk, talking horses, adventures with pirates. More likely she was writing about what she was going to cook for dinner and how irritating Dad’s snoring was.

I’ve always wanted to write my own journal, and this is my chance. Maybe my last chance. The idea is that every night for three months, I’ll take one of these heavy sheets of pure white paper, rough under my fingertips, and fill it up on both sides. If my suicide note is nearly a hundred pages long, then no-one can accuse me of not thinking it through. No-one can say; ‘It makes no sense; she was a polite, cheerful girl, had everything to live for’, before adding that I did keep myself to myself. It’ll all be here. I’m using a silver fountain pen with purple ink. A bit flamboyant for me, I know. I need these idiosyncratic rituals; they hold things in place. Like the way I make tea, squeezing the tea-bag three times, the exact amount of milk, seven stirs. My writing is small and neat; I’m striping the paper. I’m near the bottom of the page now. Only ninety-one more days to go before I’m allowed to make my decision. That’s it for today. It’s begun.

Continue reading tomorrow here...

Gift no 4. Tessa Souter: 'Give our LOVE to the audience!'

2010-01-18T13:07:00.000-08:00

Tessa Souter is author of 'Anything I Can Do YOU Can Do Better', and is a writer and jazz singer from the UK but based in New York. Read the full interview with Tessa Souter on The Hip Girl's Guide to Being an Entrepreneur. Her gift to you on Creative Resistance is this valuable insight:

I think perseverance is gigantic. In my book I mention Vincent Van Gogh and say imagine meeting him at a party, mid career. 'You are sharing a studio with an accountant turned painter called Paul. Your BROTHER buys your work!?" Sadly for him he never 'made it' in his life. But luckily for US, it didn't stop him from trying. Don't ever do it for money or fame because you might not get that. You have to love it for itself. Use it to gain insight into yourself and/or others. And also to think of it as a gift you are GIVING to others. Your job is not to be a big old clever clogs and IMPRESS anybody. Your job is to entertain people/be cathartic/empathize/tell the story of the song/yourself/people in the audience whose stories you can sometimes feel by their reaction to certain songs or words. My old teacher Mark Murphy completely cured me of stage fright by pointing that out to me one day. He says, our job is to give our Love to the audience. When you think of it like that you can't be nervous. Also to have people believe in you so you don't give in (related to perseverance). And to be grateful to those people for that inspiration. I think to remember it's not about "you" is huge!

What motivates you to work? Is it money, fame or love? What gifts do you receive from others? What shift do you notice when you stop thinking about "you" and view your practice as a 'gift' for others?

Gift No. 3 Marta Pelrine-Bacon ''My mom had this dream, but she gave it up'' - That Gets Me Back To Work

2010-01-13T01:20:00.000-08:00

Marta Pelrine-Bacon is a writer and artist working in Austin. Her unique art involves cutting up the rough drafts of her novels and making pictures with the slices. The pictures capture the mood of the novels though not the actual scenes. Anyone who buys a picture gets a chapter password and can take the password to the novel website (www.mylakebelle.com)and use it to read the chapter the artwork is from.

'I have a short piece of wisdom...though maybe it is just wisdom to me. It is why I keep writing and making art even when it feels like I'm not getting anywhere. I imagine my son, 20 years from now, telling his friends, "My mom had this dream, but she gave it up." That gets me back to work. I'd much rather him say, "My mom has this crazy dream. She just keeps trying!" Maybe he will shake his head and roll his eyes. But that is okay.

I may not be remembered as an artist of great fine art. That's okay. But I refuse to be remembered as someone who let her dream go and watched more TV.

Is that a gift? Is this the best way to give?'

Gift No. 2 'Be Here Now', Jennifer Waescher, musician/artist/writer/actor

2010-01-11T05:07:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Waescher is Canadian born, but lives in Seoul, Korea.

'I hope you enjoy my rough recordings, for what they're worth. I enjoyed making them. I have been calling myself an artist for so long, I sometimes forget what it means. But underneath it all, I feel it's my truth - the truth to live life blissfully, expressing the joy of creation in every act of actually doing the art. To play. I have been an actor, a writer and a musician. A traveler, a wanderer, a yogi. I live my life as best I can, in the moment, making art because the moment moves me, the song finds me, the poem writes me.'

Love is enough. Presence is enough. Presence is all we have and all that we are. So let’s just experience the presence and let ourselves have it.--- Bhagavan Das

A Gift: No. 1 From Alan Hudleston, Painter

2010-01-10T14:12:00.000-08:00

Alan Hudleston says: The life and people that are around me are my main inspiration. It means that my canvases are always a new adventure! This painting is titled, 'Self Portrait With Friends'.

What is your inspiration? Do the people around you feature heaviliy in your work, or not at all?!

Do writers and artists ever really ... stop?

2010-01-09T11:26:00.001-08:00

I recently enjoyed an amazing break away in the South of France and in Paris, over the festive period. There was plenty to keep me inspired: from the drama of the mountains, valleys and rocks in the South, to the legendary bohemia of Montmartre, Paris. But it also was a family holiday - I was there visiting my mum's new home and celebrating Christmas with her and my stepdad, and spending quality time with my other half.

In 2009 I'd maintained a fairly robust daily writing practice, working to get the first draft of a new 'secret writing project' - of around 90,000 words - complete by the end of the year. During the final throes of the year, I'd been averaging around 10,000 words a week and got into a real habit of giving the necessary time to get the work done. It meant whole weekends spent writing - cocktails on one night of the weekend, not two; the odd friend's private view or artshow sacrificed to the cause. Ironically, less time spent in the studios and more time writing at home. And it was working ... very well!

When the holidays began, I suddenly realised that this writing time would now encroach on time that otherwise could be spent with family. When we arrived in France, I explained how important it was for me to keep up the momentum, write for a few hours each day while visiting. Happily, they were extremely tolerant of me hiding myself away; I set to work getting a good few thousand down on paper after three days off over Christmas. This did make the inevitable time spent gazing out of the window pondering over plot, or a particular line, feel more wasteful (I had abandoned a family walk to write, and had to bloody well write!) Which of course, it isn't - you need time to think! But overall, it worked well. My family respected my wishes not to disclose the nature of the project, too.

I ended the year having written around 80,000 words - and felt really happy with this. And while I could have spent the remaining break nudging it up towards 90,000 -Paris wouldn't let me. The language and contrasts of France, the art, the poetry and beauty of Montmartre, taking hundreds of photos. The food. An abundance of free champagne. And love, sweet love inspired a whole new little baby writing project, and some very beautiful poems. I began writing in French again, which I haven't done in years.

I could have fought the tidalwave of inspiration, and continued with my deadline. But as someone commented to me on my impending goal in the run-up to Christmas, 'the very word deadline sounds awful'. Even though this deadline had created the first draft of something special, knowing when to give up and go in a new direction was definitely the best decision to make. At the London School for Social Entrepreneurs Christmas party, someone said to me: 'So you're having a proper holiday? No laptop? No work!' I answered immediately - 'am a writer, am not going to stop writing!' Do writers really ever go 'on holiday' and stop writing? Do artists ever really stop working and fully switch off?

Saatchi's 'Best of British' Art Stars

2009-11-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

Saatchi's 'Best of British' features a glittering panel of artworld movers and shakers - artist Tracey Emin, critic Matthew Collings, art collector Frank Cohen, Head of Art Galleries at The Barbican, Kate Bush, and Charles Saatchi, who select six young artists to participate in an X Factor style reality TV show designed to help them develop their skills under the guidance of leading British artists and figures from the art world. One of them will then be selected by the panel and Charles Saatchi to have their work exhibited in Newspeak: British Art Now, both at The State Hermitage Museum and the Saatchi Gallery.

The winning star artist also takes home a free studio for 3 years in London's Chelsea, from the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea in partnership with the Saatchi Gallery.

It makes compelling TV, but has predicatably raised eyebrows in the artist community for it's shameless emulation of arguably one of the tackiest popstar competitions on British TV - the X Factor. 'I really believe I can make more money and promote myself better without tarnishing my image through things like this than through reality TV. It is sad that the older generation like Saatchi do not yet realize that the vibrant artistic communities are thriving organically!' says one artist in response to the show.

For anyone interested in what really goes through the minds of what some would call an elite, 'cultural capital creators' - those who give value to art, and decide whether it is 'good' or not - this is essential, sometimes brutally hilarious and incredulous viewing. The whimsical mechanisms of the artworld revealed at their most raw, rudimentary level. Watch it and laugh, cry, and ... possibly cry again.

10 Tips for Approaching Large Writing Projects

2009-11-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

To most writers and newcomers to writing, the single most thing that puts people off tackling large writing projects, is the very thought of the SIZE of the end result. Whether it's a novel, a piece of research, a work of non fiction, or script, the thought of writing thousands and thousands of words can feel ... impossible. Darn it. Impossible. I've just approached the half-way point of a large, new writing project; I've written 40,000 words. And it feels really good. To anyone out there who longs to do the same but can't bloody well seem to get it off the ground: yes, you can do it. Here's how.

10 Tips for Approaching Large Writing Projects

1. Read often. Writers who don't read are like squeezed up lemons with only the pips left. Bitter. Read like a writer - absorb style; read like a reader - writers often write what they enjoy reading.

2. Write every day. It's an old adage, but trust me - it's essential. Writing is like flexing a muscle, if you slip up and miss a few days - weeks, even - your muscle could sieze up, and refuse to play ball next time you want to write. The longer you leave it, the harder it is to restart. Carve that time into your daily life. Then give it a nice cup of tea. It is your friend.

3. Treat your writing-self the way you want to be treated. Stay true to your word - if you say you are a writer, then write. If you miss an appointment, make up for it the next time you check in to the page and write a little more, or try something scintillating and different to cajole your writing-self. Remember: the more you muck your inner-writer around, the more likely it is to flip out and attack you with those writer's nasties - guilt, self-doubt and writers-block.

4. Time yourself writing a page. How many words did you write? How long did it take you? Now you know how many pages you need to write every day to reach your goal. You will be suprised at how little you could have to disrupt your daily Facebook habit, or post-work TV marathon to get the job done.

5. If you are someone that finds yourself wowing everyone down the pub with your incredible, BIG writing-ideas, and then ... get bored as soon as you start them so quickly give up, then try simply not talking about them. And writing instead. It can be tough holding on to that amazing thought, but is absolutely worth doing if that is your particular bug-bear. It also protects your baby writing-project from throwaway comments that could maim it for life, like: 'George Orwell, didn't he play for Coventry?'

6. If you HAVE to discuss your writing with someone, then think very, very carefully who you talk to. I've confided writing projects in other writers who have - totally unwittingly - put me off by helpfully saying things like: 'you want to write about drugs, death, and murder? Is this really something that is healthy to have in your life?' Or: 'maybe I should write it, I'd probably do it much better than you'. No matter how harmless the intention, your writer-self hears what it hears, and does not know the difference. Result: deflation.

7. Consider getting professional help. No, not seeing a shrink. Some of the best support I've received has been from published novelists whose insights into my ideas, and my needs as a writer really kickstarted me into action. It's very encouraging to have people whose work you admire give YOU and YOUR work creative input. Research courses, coaches, and tutors - support really can help.

8. Decide how long - roughly - you want your writing project to be. A novel can be as little as 60,000 words, but averages around 90,000 (for about 400 pages). A script will be less. Knowing how big your mountain is helps you to pace yourself, and to know what to aim for. This is critical when planning how to use your time.

9. Cherry pick the advice you read in writers-books, blogs, and magazines - there is a reason writers give such advice. It's because it works - but not all of it is for you. Mix and match until you find the right tips for you.

10. Stop reading this article - NOW - and write! Just. Do. It.

Join: Maker Difference

2009-08-14T11:06:00.001-07:00

Cockpit Arts is the only creative enterprise incubator in the UK, providing professional development for hundreds of talented designer-makers and workspace to 165 creative businesses working in a number of disciplines, including fashion, jewellery and interior products.

It's an excellent model for how creative enterprises can thrive in communities and clusters, and has it's own 'Maker Difference' campaign - supporting designer-makers and hand made goods in the UK. I love it!

http://www.cockpitarts.com/makerdifference/join-in.php
www.cockpitarts.com
020 7419 1959
mandy@cockpitarts.com
Cockpit Yard, Northington Street, London WC1N 2NP

Gifts

2009-08-11T01:45:00.000-07:00

Gifts

1
We are all so gifted, with gifts we cannot even see.
Forest birds, salmon, poetry and coral shells sing diamond bright,
beauty inside shining aloud

of presence, things, and places we yearn for – rifts
to be healed, views to be seen, precipices
challenged, bells tolled and pealed, witch-hazel
blossomed –

and always have, if we would
simply open our hearts and minds to our own gifts.

Which if left unspent, may spread
like an acid river and darkly atrophy.

Poems For Art's Sake

2009-07-22T18:39:00.000-07:00

Poems for Art’s Sake

1.
Haiku drifts across the lake, a swan of stars calling you softly
Her gloves are undressed, they lie shimmering naked in this starlight
Shivering, a soul lies awake at night, dreaming of stars

2.
What is art, but a place to make us beckon, soft?
It is unwise, unruly and nothing – incandescent, gleaming aloft.
She is beauty, so much more than the night, drifting midst dreams unstopped

3.
What is art, but a secret left untold: silence playing in the holly bush black
Deep aureoles of peace, swimming, like gladiator lions
kissing on scorched ivy-strewn roofslats?

4.
What is art, but a place left alone, where no-one can touch it:
a hermit crab sniggering, while mermaids fondle in the green sinewy
place that mermaids should never rupture?

5.
Someone has polished their soul into art, and placed it out for you to see
It sits, listens to your questions: ‘is it new enough?’ ‘is it enough?’ ‘is it cutting-edge enough?’ ‘is it enough?’ ‘is it interesting enough?’ ‘is it enough?’ ‘is it daring enough?’

6.
Revolutions can be so quiet, you’d never know they were there.

7.
Making art is like a slow crucifixion – send it up to other people’s eyes,
let their vision define yours as you shape your creativity to
the criteria of some goddammed funding application …

8.
Whatever happened to good old fashioned ‘beauty’?

9.
A fleet of white stags stampeding delicate feet;
an unwise jar under the table stuffed with marmalade.
The hermit crab sniggering, these are all images – all art – feel their grace.

10.
What is art, but insomnia unless expressed?

WHAT IS ART? Poetess_rising@yahoo.co.uk

Conversations. Conversations. 'A Cambridge Art Space (to be continued).'

2009-07-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

'Really, it's a need for a space where dialogue with communities' 'but with critically acclaimed art' 'can take place without the pressure to sell art. A place where artists can provoke questions ---' 'and reach out to excluded people ---' 'and doesn't exclude local artists or people, simply having an international dialogue with Amsterdam or New York or London that pushes out local artists who aren't 'names' on that international circuit ---' 'a process which can turn artists into being international commodities, in a way --' '--but is still critically acclaimed on an international level: inclusivity doesn't have to mean a dilution of quality--' 'that isn't clinical, self conscious, and over-intellectualised' '---yet still intellectual --' 'where the pressure to sell art isn't the primary function of the space ---' 'but it's still OK to do that, where artists can be paid ---' 'with classes, a cafe, and ---' 'a space for the 600 or so artists in Cambridge that have barely anywhere to show their work ---' 'for the community, that isn't elitist and breaks down the pretensions of art' 'what about? We could --' 'Or do that --' 'We should be writing this down ---'

A Cambridge Arts Centre

2009-07-20T23:52:00.000-07:00

The recent occupation - and rapid eviction of said occupiers - of an old Bingo Hall in Cambridge has caused much debate in the community. Cambridge is one of the world's leading cultural cities, and yet lags behind its contemporaries in terms of cultural resources and amenities. There is no arts centre here. For a city so famous for culture, ideas, and creativity - this seems anomolous, and bizarre.

I've set up a little hub of artists in Cambridge with Positiveworld Studios, and helped my friend Freya Zinovieff set up Cambridge Open Art Space last year after she had the brilliant idea to create a Cambridge Fringe Open Studios that could act as a platform for more edgy art previously excluded from the Cambridge art scene. Time and time again, creatives complain to me of the lack of an arts centre here - yet where there is a need, sure there is a way?

Is it that people want the resources, but don't want to have to create them? Understandable - founding a contemporary arts centre is no mean feat, and must take considerable time and energy.

I've decided to focus some of my writing on this blog to exploring exactly this notion: what it would take to create such a centre in this city, my hometown. I'd welcome ideas, feedback, guest writers, and any support for such a notion. It's only through working together that we can achieve these things.

Changing Spaces

2009-07-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

Our first show with Changing Spaces is up! On 82 Regent St, Cambridge, this is the first of four shows in a disused shopfront over the next two months. Showing paintings by Alice Hill, whose gorgeous work is inspired by the female form, the body, and flowers - all with a modern feel. Come and see the art! If you would like to get involved email positiveworldstudios@yahoo.co.uk

http://ruthiecollins.blogspot.com/2009/07/changing-spaces-82-regent-st-cambridge.html

Creative Survival

2009-07-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

What are the essential ingrediants necessary for creative survival? What are the barriers to creative growth? How can we best support the growth and development of a creative community? At the beginning of 2009, I started research into developing strategies for creative survival. By coaching a range of creatives from different backgrounds, it's been possible to see links between certain disciplines and successful techniques. I'm now writing up my findings as part of my dissertation for my coaching diploma, and can honestly say the whole project has been an exlosive process with some really interesting results!

It's fascinating to look at the common techniques and strategies that really support people in their creative practice. From personal experience, it's amazing what a little bit of simple encouragement can do for the soul. Community, personal support, self-belief and the right environment are all essential to continued creative success and survival. And laughing! Thank you to all the people I've worked with and wishing you luck with your amazing work!